韩寒作品《求医》分析汇总 —- 作者:sleepwhile

在1999年韩寒上高一的时候,给首届新概念作文大赛寄去两篇文章,受到评委们的重视,得以参加单独为他举行的复赛,获得一等奖。这两篇文章中有一篇是《求医》。韩寒的父亲韩仁均在《儿子韩寒》一书中说,这篇文章是韩寒根据自己得疥疮的一次真实经历写成的。文中也有“她看看卡,认识我的名字‘韩寒’”的说法,说明叙述的是真实发生的事情经过。但是这篇文章的内容却表明,这次求医不可能发生在韩寒身上,这篇文章更不可能是韩寒自己写的。

《求医》原文分析:

读书在外,身心疲惫,难免某日起床或腮边凸起一块或腿边红肿一片。笔者寝室如猪窝,奇脏无比,上铺更是懒得洗衣服。传闻一条内裤穿两个礼拜,第一个礼拜穿好后第二个礼拜内外翻个身穿,最终他得疥疮。由于他整日踏我的床而上,我也不能幸免,一到晚上挠得整张床吱吱有声,睡衣上鲜血淋淋而他却不日痊愈,这就是为什么佛教在印度创始而在中国发展。

分析:主人公挠得吱吱有声鲜血淋淋,但是这么明确的皮损在下文求医时竟然指不出痒在何处。前后“脱节”。

第二天去学校医务室,盖我体弱多病,校医已经熟识我,便一手搭在我的肩上问此番为何而来。我说疥疮,她手一抖,忙从我肩上抽回去,说学校条件有限,无法确诊,最好去大医院。

分析:韩寒是体育特长生,3000米长跑冠军、足球队队员,并非“体弱多病”。体弱多病的是因为肝炎退学的韩仁均。这篇文章中还提到自己经常跟各种医生打交道。

于是我去了大医院。大医院固然大,但挂号处的窗口却皆如鼠洞,勉强可以伸进去一只手。交完挂号费后,久久等待,里面竟无动静。探身看个仔细,冷不防伸出一只白掌,全身奇痒已被吓去一半。填完单子,塞给那白掌,缩回去后,里面又没了动静,大半天才飞出几枚硬币找于我。

分析:这里描写的挂号窗口的情景像是较早年代在卫生院里的情况,九十年代末的医院已经采用玻璃窗口,里面的人做什么事可以清楚地看到。

 

揣着病历卡去找皮肤科,不料一路走去全是会议室,从第一会议室到第N会议室。开会时饮茶过多,不免上厕,所以会议室旁边都是厕所。寻觅半天,不见皮肤科。于是我问一个大夫,那大夫态度冰冷,看都不看一眼,往屁股后面的一堵空墙一指:“那儿。”他踱出几步,良心发现,告诉我皮肤科和外科并在一起

分析:韩寒去的那家大医院(金山县中心医院),有N个会议室,皮肤科和外科并在一起。皮肤病容易传染,外科多是外伤病人,更容易被传染,所以规范的医院是不会把两个科室并在一起的,何况是大医院。这像是在医疗很不规范的年代,例如上个世纪七、八十年代的情况。

文中的其他细节也表明这次求医不可能发生在1999年的大医院。大医院都有护士分诊,患者先把病历交给护士,由护士分配医生;而文中叙述的,却是患者自己拿着病历去找医生,认为这个医生看病草率,又自己去找另一个医生,这像是在社区医院才会发生的。医院里患者很少、病历写得不规范、医生对皮肤溃烂患者不做检验就开药、医生手写药方写得药房看不懂、医生骂病人笨、墙上贴礼貌用语,也都不像是发生在1999年上海大医院的事。

外科里一个老先生在看医书,正要打个招呼,后面一个妇女插到我的前面,把病历卡递上去。老先生泰然自若,神情如仙,把妇女全身看几遍,劈头就问:“你得啥病呀?”妇女被问得愣住,我估计她一定在骂医生尽说废话,知道什么病就不来医院了。妇女说手上擦伤一块正溃烂,说完撩起袖子,医生示意不必,马上开一张药方,30秒不到,病已诊好,这恐怕是全国办事效率最高的地方。校医对这方面很有经验,事先劝诫我莫要去这种办事潦草的医生那里。于是,我换了一个女医生。

分析:外科看皮肤病,医生连最基本的问诊都不会,这是文革时期医院实行医生护士技师都可以看病都有处方权的混乱年代。

怎知这家医院的医生事先都像对过口供,那女医生也问我何病。我告诉她我痒。女医生比较认真,要我指出痒处,无奈我刚才一身的痒现在正在休息,我一时指不出痒在何处。医生笑我没病看病,我有口难辩。忽然,痒不期而至,先从我肘部浮上来一点点,我不敢动,怕吓跑了痒,再用手指轻挠几下,那痒果然上当,愈发肆虐,被我完全诱出。我指着它叫:“这!这!这!”医生探头一看,说:“就这么一块?”这句话被潜伏的痒听到,十分不服,纷纷出来证明给医生看。那医生笑颜大展,说:“好!好!”我听了很是欣慰,两只手不停地在身上挠,背在椅子背上不住地蹭,两只脚彼此不断地搓。

分析:疥疮的瘙痒局限于手、腕、腹部、阴部等特定部位,痒处会有皮损,包括皮疹、小水疱或结痂。所以要指出哪里痒,是很容易的,而不是像文中所述无法向医生指出痒在何处,而一痒起来又是全身无处不痒。文中所述的这种没有皮疹、全身奇痒却又没有特定痒处的症状,更像是肝炎诱发的,是肝炎患者的切身感受。肝炎造成肝功能损伤,导致血液中的胆红素升高,在皮肤下沉淀,刺激皮下神经末梢,导致全身上下都瘙痒难忍。所以文章所述,是作者把自己初患肝炎的体验移植给了疥疮患者。     

很有可能此文关于疥疮的前两段的是一个附加品,为了使文章符合韩寒的疥疮求医经历,才硬生生安了上去。所以该文所写的,其实是上个世纪七、八十年代(或更早)一位肝炎患者在一家小医院的求医经历,而不是韩寒作为疥疮患者在1999年的大医院的求医经历。作者的身份,更像是1977年考上华东师大中文系,又因肝炎退学的韩仁均。

问好之后,医生就在病历卡背面写。我见过两种医生:一种满腹经纶,一写可以写上半天,内容不外乎“全身突发性部分之大痒……足、头、腹无处不痒……病人痒时症状如下……”曾闻一个医生写好,病人早已呼呼而睡。还有一种医生惜字如金,偌大一张卡上就写一个“痒”。我今日所遇的女医生有别于前两种,写了一段后笔下羞涩,无话可写。看看同事,正在伏案作文章,病历卡上已经被写得黑漆漆一片,颇为壮观,一看就是权威和知识的代表。这位女医生不甘示弱,凑几个字后实在写不出,又怕她的尴尬被我看穿,只好和我聊天。她看看卡,认识我的名字“韩寒”,却不知道普通话该怎么念,闭上眼睛读:“园寒!”西格蒙·弗洛伊德有一本《The Psychopathology of Everyday Life》上说,故意念错一个人的姓名就等于是一场侮辱。我尚不能确定她是否故意念错,所以不便发泄,忍痒承认我是“园寒”。

分析:这更像是接触过很多医生的韩仁均的经验之谈,不是一个身体棒棒的体育特长生所能有。

能写上半天的是普通医生,只能吭哧吭哧写一个字的是赤脚医生,写一段肚里无货可续的这个女的是护士混充医生,这是文革后期的时代特色。

英语不及格的韩寒突然直书英文书名,书名中还有一个罕见的英语单词,似乎直接读的就是英文著作,可能吗?

为什么念成了“园寒”就让韩寒觉得是侮辱?如果是把“韩仁均”念成“猿人君”,让韩仁均觉得侮辱,还可以理解。

    

她稍过片刻又运笔如飞,有话则长,无话更长,好不容易凑齐一页,嘱我去取药。我拿过药方一看,只见上面不规则的点线圈,怎奈我读书多年,自命博识,竟一个字都不懂。我曾见过一个刚从大学出来的实习医生,刚当医生的小姑娘要面子,写的字横平竖直,笔笔遒劲,不慎写错还用橡皮沾口水擦,只是速度嫌慢,往往写一个字要半天,如逢急病,只怕病历卡还没写好,病人早已一命呜呼了。如此用心书写的医生已日渐少矣。我曾见过一篇杂文说,现今看不懂的字就是所谓狂草,医院更是汇聚四方狂草专家的地方。一个医生可能一辈子称不上医学家,但一进医院就意味着你是书法家。

分析:韩寒那一年17岁,而一个刚从大学出来的实习医生年龄应有23岁左右。一个17岁的人怎么可能称比自己大6岁的人为“小姑娘”?只有像韩仁均这样的中年人或更年长者,才会这么叫。

在上世纪90年代,还有医生用橡皮沾口水擦错字?这该是多久远的事?描写中的这种现象,恐怕是文革中那种半文盲直接上工农兵医学院的,或者那些文革一条龙瞎搞之后的护士技师做医生。

    

不料收费处也看不懂字,拉来旁边一个老医师问这是什么字,问明白后说这药没有,恐怕要去药店买。我再跑回外科那女医生那里,她看我半天,居然问:“你得了什么病?”《父与子》里有一段:“省长邀科少诺夫和巴扎洛夫进大厅坐,几分钟后,他再度邀请他们,却把他们当作兄弟,叫他们科少洛夫。”谁知今天的情况更严重,出去几秒进来她连人都不认识了!她看我半天终于认得我了,激动得像母子团聚,但叫不出我的名字。屠格涅夫《烟》里一段写拉特米罗夫忘记李维诺夫的名字,这种错误情有可原,俄国人的名字像火车,太长,不免会生疏,而我的名字忘了则不可原谅。

分析:自家医院药房的药剂师看不懂自家医生处方,不开自家医院药房所具备的药品而不让自己医院创收,最基本的疥疮外用药品都不齐备;这些都明显不是九十年代的景象,而是穿越到了七、八十年代。

《父与子》和《烟》都是屠格涅夫的长篇小说,俄国文学曾在韩仁均这一代知青中流行,却不是“80后”喜欢的。而且韩寒在回忆中小学生活的小传《第三个人》中明确说自己不读中外名著,特别是这类翻译过来的长篇小说:“我无书不看,只是有一个怪癖,唯中外名著不读。那时我就觉得好些特被人推崇的长篇小说文笔拖沓,太强调思想性,而且有的翻译得半生不熟,读了几本后就觉得是浪费时间。直到现在,我还没读全过一本外国名著。”但是在《求医》中却引用了屠格涅夫两部长篇小说中相关的细节,信手拈来,不仅读过这两部长篇小说,而且十分熟悉,显然不可能是韩寒写的。

 

我走出外科,听见内科一个医生在骂病人笨,那病人怯生生地说:“你们这里——墙上不是写着‘请用——谢谢、再见、对不起’……”我暗叹一声,笑那病人的天真,孰不知这几个字是写给我们看的,意思是说在看病时不忘对医生说:“谢谢、再见、对不起!”

分析:在1999年的上海大医院,还在墙上贴礼貌用语标语?那好像是80年代初“五讲四美三热爱”运动时期的事。

 

《求医》通篇看不到90年代后期大医院最为人诟病的种种弊端。没有人头攒动看病难。没有排队领专家号,黄牛代领号再卖号。没有看病贵,医生乱开化验单,乱开高价药进口药,胡乱收费,高价看小病。没有收受红包礼物,医药代表串场,各种吃请回扣和灰色收入。取而代之的却是华国锋那个时代的医院。除掉开头两段,活脱脱一篇莫名瘙痒赴动乱后破败医院的无序科室见无资格医生求医的杂文。

对个别的疑点,也许可以勉强辩解,但是把所有疑点综合起来看,是很难否定这样的结论:这不是写的一个高一学生在1999年的上海大医院看疥疮的经历,而是一个有丰富的生活阅历的中年人在不知不觉地回顾他看其他疾病的经历。

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